How To Overcome the Feeling of Loneliness

February 21, 2019

In order to overcome “loneliness,” we have to first acknowledge what loneliness is - That deep feeling of inadequacy inside of us.

When we feel lonely, we feel like we don’t belong, like we’re not apart of something, or we don’t have a strong sense of purpose. This is generated from inside ourselves, which is why we can feel very alone, even if people are nearby or someone tells us they love us.

It’s very cliche to say we have to first “love ourselves from within” so I’m going to avoid saying that, and just skip to the part where I try to help you.

Coming from experience, I know that lack of self-esteem and self-worth are the ultimate cause of loneliness. In order to cure this, we must build out a strong foundation of confidence and purpose in the world.

Here are a few steps to do so:

  1. Build your support system - This means surrounding yourself with people who will nurture you, support you, and ultimately encourage you to grow. This also means shedding the toxic friends or family you may have.
  2. Pinpoint your Strengths - Have whoever is in your support system point out your strengths. Many times we overlook what’s good about us and only focus on the negative. Maybe you’re a good friend - Maybe you’re funny! Once you have a solid foundation for what’s good about yourself, you can expand off of it and use it as your baseline for confidence.

Get Involved - When we lack self-confidence or feel lonely, usually we do the exact opposite of what we should do, and lock ourselves up! But isolation is only feeding the fire for more loneliness. Make commitments that are meaningful to you - pack your calendar and make the decision to go no matter what. This could be anything - church, tennis, art class, dance class, a meetup, going to a coffee shop on Sundays. Make it part of your routine to get out where other people are. You’ll find yourself meeting people you love because you’re doing things you love, and the loneliness will disappear.

You are not your Pain.
Your Pain is not the problem.
Being in pain sucks, and most of us try to avoid it. But at the end of the dark days, we’re often able to look back at how much stronger they made us. In this sense, we can start to thank our pain, instead of running away from it.